And Just Like That, Another Heart Dog is by My Side
Last night, Quill and I shared my popcorn while I watched the newest episode of And Just Like That, the sequel to Sex and the City. It made me reflect on how I used to watch the original show every week—on a different sofa, in a different house, in a different state—with a different black Labrador by my side. And I couldn’t help but wonder: if a heart dog is your soulmate, maybe the universe gives you more than one—not because you’re missing something, but because each one shows up to meet you where you are, love you the way you need, and carry you through a different part of your story.
Back When It All Began: Babe
I was only 27 when Sex and the City first aired. We had just moved into a crappy apartment and, on a whim, connected the cable line to the TV, hoping the previous tenant hadn’t disconnected it. They hadn’t. We ended up with free full cable, including all the movie channels.
At that point, I was in what would turn out to be the last of the moderately happy years of my previous relationship. I didn’t know yet that I was living in a facade with a habitual liar and cheater. One year after the original series finale, I would find out exactly what it was like to be single, 30-something, and dating emotionally unavailable men.
Babe came into my life around the time SATC began. Once she became my dog, I was less interested in going out and more content to come home from my job as a waitress in a nice-ish steakhouse and relax with her. I had a weekly routine: come home drenched in sweat, take Babe for her late-night potty walk, shower, put on comfy clothes, grab a snack, and settle in with her in the air conditioning to watch the show.
Dating Disasters: Carrie’s and My Own
Those first few seasons felt outlandish. I hadn’t dated as an adult, having met my boyfriend a year after college. The men Charlotte, Miranda, Carrie, and Samantha met seemed unreal. Like most women, I saw parts of myself in all four characters, and I felt smug in what I thought was a happy relationship.
I won’t blame the writers of SATC for my mistake in staying with someone who was bad for me just because they kept Carrie in a toxic on-and-off relationship with Mr. Big. But I do remember seeing how awful he was while staying with someone with even fewer redeeming qualities.
At the end of the original series, Mr. Big finally decides Carrie is “the one” and saves the day. Thirty-three-year-old me thought it was beautiful and romantic and hoped my failing relationship would have a similar ending. Fifty-four-year-old me thinks she should have dumped the Russian, told Mr. Big to fuck off, spent a few weeks in Paris doing what she wanted, and gone back to that firehouse where Samantha got naked and found someone who would appreciate her. But I might be biased by how my own story turned out.
In 2005, I moved to Illinois for a fresh start. The box set of SATC CDs had just come out. I moved for work, but also to escape life with my ex. That first year was lonely. My mom’s health was declining, and I spent weekends visiting her in Indiana instead of making new friends. The box set felt like coming home to old friends. After my mom died that same year, I started dating for the first time as an adult. I used to joke that I could have given the SATC writers at least two more seasons based on the men I met.
There was the one who got shitfaced on our first (and only) date and declared his love for me—20 seconds before calling me a bitch. The one who shared his history of being in a maximum-security prison—but it wasn’t for violence toward women, so it was okay, right? The one who ghosted me after saying he never wanted to break up, which made me look like a nutcase when I kept reaching out, genuinely worried something had happened to him. I had never heard of ghosting. I mean, Miranda had a date who died and never showed up so it was absolutely plausible that when someone plans to meet you and your friends after work and they never arrive, that you might worry that something happened to them. I even went out with someone named Burger. Only I broke it off, and there was no post-it note.
The SATC Girls and I Settle Down
When the first SATC movie came out in 2008, I had been with my husband for a year. We weren’t engaged yet, but we lived together and planned to be. I had made good friends at work, but I ended up seeing the movie alone. It stirred up fears of being ditched at the altar and losing the great love I had found. For Carrie, it was all Mr. Big. I had leveled up to someone new, but I was struggling with abandonment issues and what I now know is Infidelity PTSD from my previous relationship.
By then, SATC was airing on WGN TV, and I watched it most nights when my husband was on shift. Babe was still alive, but we also had Dutch (who became my dog after my mom passed away) and Maggie (rescued by my husband before we met). Those days were tricky. I was surrounded by a loving husband, three bonus kids from his first marriage, and three dogs. It was a whole new world from when Babe and I had moved to Illinois alone. I loved every second of it while also fearing it could all be taken away without warning.
When the second movie was released, we were married and settled into life as a blended family. Babe had passed away the fall before, and one of my best friends said, “Maybe she finally knew you were happy and settled and it was okay for her to go.”
The Dogs Who Carried Me Through
For 11 years, there were no new SATC episodes or movies. So when And Just Like That was announced, I was elated. I couldn’t wait to see what the girls were up to now that we were all in our 50s. In real life, our human kids were grown or in college. We had Jax and Tinkerbell, having said goodbye to Dutch and Maggie in 2011 and 2013. Dutch sent us Jax, and Maggie sent us Tinkerbell.
Season 1 of And Just Like That began just weeks before we learned that Jackson’s Oncept treatments for melanoma weren’t working. At our final shot at the University of Wisconsin veterinary hospital, we learned the cancer had metastasized to his lymph nodes. And just like that, I was back to escaping for an hour each week with my fictional girlfriends. They’ve been with me the last three years as I navigated Jackson’s passing, Tinkerbell’s liver disease, and her recent passing.
Can You Have More Than One Heart Dog?
Now I’m about to watch the series finale. The producers and Sarah Jessica Parker have said it’s the last season, with no more movies or shows to follow. While the show has had its issues, most of us diehard fans are just happy to have our girlfriends back. Should they decide to revisit the characters in another 10 or 15 years, I’ll happily tune in. If nothing else, I want to see if Carrie can still run through Manhattan in stilettos in her 70s, as I’ve literally traded my own Jimmy Choos in for cute sneakers at just 54
And now, the dog by my side is Quill.
One of the biggest questions explored in the SATC universe, at least in my opinion, is whether you have one soulmate or multiple big loves throughout your lifetime. Not just is it a question of how many loves you get, but WHO is your soulmate. Is it a romantic partner or your ride-or-die friends? And I couldn’t help but wonder if that applies to dogs, too.
I’ve referred to Jackson as my heart dog—the one who comes along once in a lifetime. But Babe was my heart dog, too. She was with me from 28 through 38, through the end of one relationship, a move 100 miles away, and the start of a new life. She was absolutely my heart dog. And Tinkerbell, who we just lost, was my best friend and canine daughter rolled into one. Every time I said Jackson was my heart dog, I’d immediately think, “But so is Tinkerbell.”
Would it be fair to have gotten Quill if I wasn’t open to calling him my heart dog? No. The time we’ve shared, especially through his terrifying megaesophagus period and Myasthenia Gravis diagnosis, cemented him as my heart dog.
My husband recently commented that Quill and I might be slightly co-dependent on each other, to which I responded, “Correct.” And honestly, I think we’ve both needed that kind of unwavering presence—especially in the chapters we’ve weathered together. There is no way we could have spent so many terrifying moments at the emergency vet, or all of those feedings in his Bailey Chair, without building that bond.
Sometimes I’ve wondered if I’m using the phrase “heart dog” correctly. But is there a “correct” way to use it?
According to Dogster, “A heart dog is a canine companion with whom you share a deep emotional bond that is unique and irreplaceable. This connection is often described as a once-in-a-lifetime love, characterized by unconditional loyalty, trust, and understanding that transcends ordinary pet-owner relationships.”
The website Vets Explain Pets writes, “A heart dog is more than just a beloved pet; it is a soulmate in animal form… intuitive, compassionate, and deeply connected to its owner on a spiritual level.”
Merriam-Webster defines a soulmate as “a close friend or romantic partner with whom one has a unique deep connection based on mutual understanding and acceptance.”
Dr. Michael Tobin, psychologist, says in Brides magazine, “A soulmate is an individual that has a lasting impact on your life. Your soulmate is your fellow traveler on the journey of life—you need one another to grow beyond the limitations of your individual selves.”
When you look at all of these definitions, I think all four of my dogs fit the description of heart dog and soulmate. As do Dutch and Maggie, who both started out as someone else’s dog but ended up mine.
Unconditional loyalty, trust, and understanding. Intuitive, compassionate, and deeply connected on a spiritual level. A unique deep connection based on mutual understanding and acceptance. A fellow traveler on the journey of life who helps you grow beyond the limitations of your individual self.
That’s all of them—four unique Labradors with different personalities, all by my side through different phases, just like the SATC girls. Plus a German Shorthaired Pointer and my token hound dog Maggie.
Each of these dogs has loved me through a different version of myself—versions I didn’t always recognize or understand at the time. They’ve seen me at my most broken and my most brave, and they’ve never asked me to be anything other than who I am.
If soulmates help you grow beyond the limitations of your individual self, then my heart dogs have been my greatest teachers. They’ve taught me how to stay, how to let go, how to trust again, and how to love without fear. And just like that, I realize how fortunate I am to have all of these heart dogs by my side.
