Real-Life Dog Training Tips From a Lifelong, Devoted Dog Owner

I have a great appreciation for dog trainers. My respect for them began in 2011 when my puppy Jackson came into my life. As a lifelong dog owner, I thought I knew everything there was to know about dogs. 

 

I was wrong. I had much to learn.

 

Luckily, just as you can teach an old dog new tricks, a middle-aged dog owner can learn a lot too.

Why I Love Dog Trainers

When I got Jackson as an 8-week-old puppy in 2011, I had never attended an actual dog training class. Prior to this, my dad had been responsible for training our family dogs, both for basic obedience and for hunting.

 

As for my own dogs, I had rescued my black Labrador retriever, Babe, when she was 2 years old. She arrived at my home beautifully trained, both on and off the leash. The only reason she needed a new home was that her elderly owner had encountered an unexpected medical issue that made it difficult for her to care for a young Labrador. I also inherited my mom’s German Shorthaired Pointer, Dutch, who was perfectly trained as well.

 

I enjoyed taking training classes with Jackson. We began with a puppy socialization class and progressed through various obedience and manners classes. Jackson successfully earned his Canine Good Citizen certificate.

 

My biggest takeaway from these experiences was that the trainers focused on teaching us how to train our dogs. Each class was not just about teaching the basics—like sit, down, or stay—but also about understanding how dogs think and learn. We gained invaluable insights that extended well beyond the coursework.

 

In my book, “Love, Laugh, Woof: A Guide to Being Your Dog’s Forever Owner,” I strongly encourage everyone to take their new puppy or dog to a group training class, regardless of how many years they’ve owned dogs or even if they are trainers themselves.

 

One reason I feel so passionately about this is that I consistently learn something new from each trainer we encounter. In fact, I recently learned from a friend who is a professional trainer that she, too, continually learns from other trainers and applies that knowledge to her own teaching and training methods.

 

Real-Life Dog Training Tips From a Lifelong Dog Lover

Over the years, I have gathered a few guiding principles for training my dogs—not as a professional, but as someone who has navigated the chaos, experienced breakthroughs, and celebrated quiet victories. Here are my top dog training tips from the perspective of a regular dog owner.

1. Training is about your relationship with your dog

It’s not just about commands — it’s about connection, trust, and shared understanding.

One of the best takeaways from working with my own dogs over the past 14 years is that training is more about your relationship with your dog than it is simply teaching them something. Yes, your dog is learning how you expect them to behave in certain situations, like if you give them a training cue, or in a certain environment. But they are also looking at you for guidance, and for structure. 

 

According to the American Kennel Club, ““To most people, training a dog begins and ends with commands and equipment. They never think that developing a relationship with their dog through training is possible, let alone critical.”

 

This was true with Jackson and Tinkerbell, but it has become even more obvious with Quill, especially as we have worked so hard on his reactivity and loose leash walking in the last four months. When we first started, it was nearly impossible to get his attention when faced with a strange person or dog, and now I am able to get his attention to look at me or walk toward me. 

 

I feel like at first he was so overwhelmed that he was only able to focus on the distraction, and now he can understand that I am there with him. In fact, watching him go from completely overwhelmed to more in tune with me is what helped me realize something deeper — training isn’t just about behavior. It was about trust. Once I understood that, I started asking deeper questions — like why certain behaviors mattered, and what my dog was really learning.

2. Training is better when you know the why behind the behavior

Understanding how dogs learn makes you a more confident, compassionate teacher.

I mentioned that one of my favorite parts of taking Jackson to all of his training classes was that I learned about how dogs think and learn. That’s why I find it so important to know why I am teaching my dog something. 

 

When Quill and I met with our private trainer and our homework was to do what Karen Pryor calls the Engage/Disengage Game. The instructions seemed simple enough: let Quill observe his triggers (things that made him fearful or anxious) and reward him when he either looked at the trigger calmly or ideally, looked at the trigger and then looked at me and made eye contact. 

 

It sounded easy enough. In fact, it sounded too easy and I admit to being incredibly skeptical at first. I asked, “But what exactly is he LEARNING from this?” The answer to that question was that he was learning to calmly observe the trigger instead of losing his mind and reacting by barking, lunging, or growling. 

 

Knowing this helped me tremendously in real life training once we left the training facility. Quill very quickly got used to triggers that he could see from our own property. When we advanced to the local park, he was absolutely overwhelmed. Knowing that our lesson was to learn to observe his surroundings and not react to triggers, I decided to spend a few weeks just walking to the very middle of the park, well away from sidewalks and people passing within 50 feet of us. 

 

As the weeks went by, Quill has become less and less reactive. I am still extremely cautious and will step well off a trail to let others pass. Last week we walked 20 feet away from another dog who was crying and barking and lunging in our direction. Quill definitely noticed him and looked at him with interest, but his reaction was much less than it would have been months ago.

 

On our walk today we walked on the sidewalk while a strange man on a commercial lawnmower waited a few feet away for us to pass. Quill’s reaction? Nothing. Not even so much as a glance in his direction. Four months ago, he lost his mind over the same mowing crew from across the street. 

3. Training is something you do FOR your dog, not to your dog

It’s an investment in your dog’s confidence, not a punishment or power play.

A lot of people I know skipped the training classes altogether. They taught the basics, rode out the wild puppy phase, and somehow ended up with dogs who fit into their lives just fine.

 

But training isn’t just about surviving the early chaos — it’s about investing in your dog’s confidence, communication, and sense of safety. It’s not a punishment or a power play. It’s something you do with your dog, or for them — never to them.

 

I will admit that some days, especially with Quill after I had my hysterectomy and could not roughhouse or be overly active with him, training was for the express purpose of wearing him to and surviving the chaos known as a 7-8 month Labrador retriever.  Some days, especially post-surgery, training was less about growth and more about survival. I leaned hard on the idea that mental exercise wears them out more than physical — because physical wasn’t an option.

 

But overall, training has been an investment in my dog’s happiness as well as my own. Whether we are working on the physical training exercises that we do, doing our monthly tornado test drill, or having fun playing hide and seek (aka sit and wait even when he cannot see me) we are having fun together. We are also working his mind, and he is getting rewarded for a job well done. He is also continually accustomed to looking at me for guidance. 

4. Never train when you’re in a bad mood

Your mindset matters — frustration clouds communication and slows progress for both of you.

I learned this while working on Quill’s reactivity and leash training: never go out training when you’re in a bad mood. Typically being around my dog is enough to turn a bad mood around. But there have been a few mornings where I have been in a bad mood after starting my day off on social media, and then went on a walk just because Quill wanted to even though my heart was not in it.

 

On those days, everything was infinitely more frustrating. His reactivity seemed to take 1 step forward, 2 steps back. His pulling seemed like an unsolvable problem. 

 

The reality was that it was my mindset that needed work. 

 

The truth is, that I am actually grateful that he is strong enough that he can pull me down the street if he wanted to. I think back to those two months when he was first diagnosed with megaesophagus and Myasthenia Gravis, when we though he was going to need to wear a muzzle or Fox Hood because it would have been dangerous to accidentally eat anything on a walk, and when he couldn’t chase a bunny without face-planting on the grass. To have this big, strong, muscular dog with a keen nose and tons of energy is a gift, and we have come so far in our walking training. 

 

For the most part, training is supposed to be fun for both of you. Not everything is going to be fun; puppy house training isn’t what I’d choose for a fun Saturday evening, although it is super exciting when you start to see your puppy choosing to go outside instead of in the middle of your carpet. 

 

But overall, watching your dog learn and grow is fun. It’s part of the bonding experience, part of what firms up your relationship as a team. Whether you’re starting fresh with a new pup or revisiting the basics with an old friend, training is a gift you give your dog — and yourself. Training isn’t just a phase — it’s a lifelong conversation. One that deepens your bond, builds your dog’s confidence, and reminds you both that you’re in this together.